So I have been so good the last few months...and then this month, WHAM out of nowhere, an emotional breakdown. I was holding my sweet friend Kristal's baby, Emma, looking at her perfect features, and how much she is loved and cared for, and then started wondering if our daughter is getting cared and loved for. Does she cry in her crib with no one to comfort her? Does she get social interaction during the day, are her needs being met? Does she sit in a yucky diaper all day long? Does she go hungry for long periods of time? All these negative questions assaulted me, and I just broke down. It's one thing knowing that God is in control, and another letting it settle in your heart. I prayed for my girl alot that day :) Maybe it was a day she needed prayer. Maybe it was an important day in her life, her day of birth, or the day her mom had to give her up. Maybe there was a reason God pressed her on my heart. Whatever the reason, I know and believe God is in control. So we will keep on praying for her everyday, and dream about the day we will actually hold her in our arms.
