March 2. 2012

Dear precious girl,
We have hit the 13 month mark!! So far the months seems to be flying by! Most days I am good, we think about you, pray about you, dream about you, but it still seems abstract not real. But every once in awhile it really hits me, and I remember that our baby girl, is somewhere in the Philippines and we aren't there to take care of you. I had that day this month, and just had to have a good cry. Crying for you, crying for myself, crying for this LONG process and wondering if we will ever get to meet you, if this is actually going to happen. Even though my heart is hurting during that time, it feels good, because it feels real, and not abstract at all. I have another child, a little girl, and in that moment of crying my heart swells with love for you

Our life while we wait....

Austin turned 9!


Brenden played his first season of basketball and LOVED it!


Casen is getting bigger!!!!

February 2, 2012

ONE YEAR!!!!! What a huge milestone!!! When we started, I couldn't wait for this day, because we would be halfway there!! Unfortunately, as I have said before, the wait times have increased, so we are still 2 years away. Hopefully, though this time next year, we can say we are OVER halfway there. That will be awesome! God knows what is best for our family more than we do, and if the wait times would have stayed the same when we first started, we would be getting our daughter this year. Little did I know at that time, how demanding Casen is, and still requires a lot of my attention. When our girl comes home, we know she will need a lot of one on one time, so in a couple of years, when Casen is 5, he'll be ready, and we'll be ready. God always knows! What also is so sweet, is to see how each one of my kids become invested in their sister. When we first started the process 2 years ago, Austin was 7, and Brenden 4. Austin was so excited and talked about her all the time, then in the last year, Brenden became so excited. If anyone ever asks how many brothers and sisters he has, he ALWAYS includes her, and talks about her. He prays for her every night, and he doesn't just say, "pray for our sister". He prays that God will take care of her, and says "I know God can see her" and prays that she will come soon. Then this month for the first time, Casen said, "I pray for my sister" as he prayed. Even though, he doesn't understand, it will be so fun to watch him get excited for her too as he gets older. She is very much already loved! The whole purpose of this blog, is to show her, how loved she is. We planned for her, prayed for her, and waited for her. She is very much wanted!!

While we wait, we live.....

The boys started sleeping together in one room. I love how they all have their own room, but choose to be together.

Austin broke his finger, and had to have surgery to put a pin in it. His second surgery of his short life.

January 2, 2012

Hello 2012!!! and Hello 11 months!!! (as of right now, 19-25 months to go), so we are still saying in about 2 years. Let's pray that this is the year that the wait times decrease, or at least don't get any longer. We had a talk with our adoption agency, and she asked us if we ever consider completing our adoption through a different country, because some couples consider this when the wait is what it is. I would be lying if I didn't say I didn't think about it, but it's a fleeting thought, a passing moment, because we are too in love with the Philippines to ever change it. We know when we started our adoption, we made it a huge matter of prayer on what country, and we knew God said the Philippines. He hasn't changed that, just because the wait times have! So we wait and rest in His will! :)

We had such a beautiful Christmas, and a friend posted lyrics to a song on my page, Merry Christmas by Third Day. It brought tears to my eyes, and made me long for our girl, but pray that God will hold her in His arms, until we can!

There's a little girl trembling on a cold December morn
Crying for momma's arms
At an orphanage just outside a little China town
There the forgotten are
But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire
And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights
I'm warmed by the fire's glow
Outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white,
Make angels in the snow
But half a world away you try your best to fight the tears
And hope that heaven's angels come to carry you here

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

Christmas is a time to celebrate the holy child
And we celebrate his perfect gift of love
He came to earth to give his life
And prepare a place for us
So we could have a home with him above

It's Christmas time again and now you're home
Your family is here so you will never be alone
So tonight before you go to sleep, I'll hold you in my arms
And I'll tell you from my heart, and I'll you from my heart
I wish you Merry Christmas

I can't wait until, I can hug her and tell her, Merry Christmas!!

While we wait though, we live.....



I ran my first Half Marathon!




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New Year's Eve

December 2, 2011

10 months!! Oh yes! This month we had to update our USCIS and get fingerprints done again in OKC, time consuming, but it always feels good doing SOMETHING. Makes it feel more real that we are actually going to have a little girl at the end of this. These 10 months have flown by, and we are about 1/3 of the way there, so I am hoping the next 10 months go just as fast. Still praying for her constantly!

And while we wait...we live....

Brenden finished his 3rd season of soccer.

Casen got to see Yo Gabba Gabba Live!

A Visit from the family!

Silver Dollar City with the cousins.

November 2, 2011

9 Months!!! When you carry a child in your womb, that's an important number. It means the waiting is done, and it is time to meet your child. There is nothing like that moment when your baby is born, meeting them for the first time. I know everyone is different, but with each of my children, I can vividly remember the first time I saw them, and I was instantly in love, love so powerful and overwhelming. Kind of crazy, when you don't even know them. When you carry them in your womb, you dream of them, imagine what they are like, but the moment you see them....there is nothing like it. For our adoption, 9 months is not signifcant, just means a month closer, our baby girl is still in my womb, I dream of her what it will be like, but it still seems so far away, I can't even imagine it. But the moment we meet her, see her face to face, I cannot wait for that day!!! The wait times have just increased to 28-34 months. She just keeps getting farther away from us. My prayers are that the wait won't get any longer, but even more so that God will help to trust him for His timing, and take care of His daughter until then :)

And while we wait, we live.....

Casen turns 3!!!

Hello Fall!

October 2, 2011

8 Months!!!! Getting closer every month!!!

So I have been so good the last few months...and then this month, WHAM out of nowhere, an emotional breakdown. I was holding my sweet friend Kristal's baby, Emma, looking at her perfect features, and how much she is loved and cared for, and then started wondering if our daughter is getting cared and loved for. Does she cry in her crib with no one to comfort her? Does she get social interaction during the day, are her needs being met? Does she sit in a yucky diaper all day long? Does she go hungry for long periods of time? All these negative questions assaulted me, and I just broke down. It's one thing knowing that God is in control, and another letting it settle in your heart. I prayed for my girl alot that day :) Maybe it was a day she needed prayer. Maybe it was an important day in her life, her day of birth, or the day her mom had to give her up. Maybe there was a reason God pressed her on my heart. Whatever the reason, I know and believe God is in control. So we will keep on praying for her everyday, and dream about the day we will actually hold her in our arms.

September 2, 2011

7 months!!!!!! I have been looking forward to this month since we were approved. Because the adoption process takes a lot longer than I anticipated and the wait times have changed, I have been saying we will get our little girl in 2 years for the past year and a half. This month was the month I could FINALLY say we will get her in LESS than 2 years. Unfortunately, although wait times haven't changed officially, a lot of people have been waiting now for 3 years. So I still may say "in 2 years" for another 6 months. I know some people criticize the wait time, and ask why it takes so long. The Philippines are very thorough in the paperwork and the children are really cared for in the orphanages. So when we are matched, I can be insured that the workers took time to match my daughter to our family and she wasn't ripped out of her birthmothers arms unwillingly. I can be insured she was meant for us :) So we will wait for her!!!

A few weeks ago, I was telling Jeff about a blue eyed, blonde hair 16 month old girl in the Ukraine that needed to be adopted and Austin was listening, and he said, "is she from the Philippines?" Me-"no..." Austin-"well my sister is coming from the Philippines." Me-"you may be waiting years for her, we could bring this little girl home in a few months." Austin-"I don't care. We can wait for her. My sister is coming from the Philippines." I love how invested he already is!!!!

So here are the fun things we did this month while we wait for our family to be complete.

The few days before school started, we took the kids to the Aquarium and the Zoo.

First day of school. My Kindergartner and 3rd grader!

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